The War Within: Thoughts from Romans 7

Romans 7:15-25

^“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! “

This passage is where I spent nearly twenty years of my life.  This whole theme of “Two Worlds Colliding”- a spiritual battlefield saturated with blood, sweat, and tears- can be traced to experiences too many to count, but compressed into a handful of verses as Paul addressed the Romans in Chapter 7.

This is the world we live in.  A world comprised of a fallen nature that we are to dwell in and lift and encourage.  A land that is spiritually dark that we are to be a light in.  A society of materialism, vanity, and idolatry that directly opposes the first two commandments God gave to Moses.

I could write a hundred blogs on this topic, but want to instead try to be somewhat brief (which is very abnormal here I know!).  I can sympathize with so many who are stuck in a rut.  Every time you take 2 steps forward, you feel you take 3 steps back.  The signs of growth and “spiritual measurements” never seem to increase because of this battle and vicious cycle of God’s Ways versus Human Desire.

Here are some lyrics from Arcade Fire’s “My Body is a Cage” that you may relate to:

My body is a cage
That keeps me from dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key….

I’m standing on the stage
Of fear and self-doubt
It’s a hollow play
But they’ll clap anyway

I’m living in an age
That calls darkness light
Though my language is dead
Still the shapes fill my head
But my mind holds the key

….Set my spirit free

Sometimes we don’t see our progress until we look back on our lives.  I admit to being so stuck in this passage of Romans 7 for so many years that I did not move forward and trust God and become a more productive Christ-follower.  I stayed on the sidelines as I conducted an internal pity-party… and would even “punish” myself by not praying or reading the Bible for 24-48 hours after sinning.  I was so terrified of abusing and cheapening God’s grace that I would bench myself and stay out of the game!

While I still somewhat struggle with that to this day, I realized a couple years ago that I had matured beyond such self-punishment and living in a purgatory-like life… and never realized it!  I was in Florida and saw a huge sign for a new album from a mainstream group called Brand New.  I was more than intrigued by the album title, The Devil and God are Raging Inside Me.  That could be the name of the soundtrack to my life! I later got the CD, which has a few great, rockin’ tracks, but I want to highlight another set of lyrics from the song, “Jesus Christ”:

Jesus Christ, that’s a pretty face
The kind you’d find on someone I could save
If they don’t put me away
It’ll be a miracle

Do you believe you’re missing out
That everything good is happening somewhere else?
But with nobody in your bed
The night’s hard to get through

And I will die all alone
And when I arrive I won’t know anyone

Well Jesus Christ, I’m alone again
So what did you do those three days you were dead?
Cause this problem’s gonna last more than the weekend.

Well Jesus Christ, I’m not scared to die,
I’m a little bit scared of what comes after
Do I get the gold chariot?
Do I float through the ceiling?

Do I divide and fall apart?
Cause my pride is too sly to hold back all my dark
And the ship went down, side of land
And at the gates does Thomas ask to see my hands

I know you’ll come in the night like a thief
But I’ve had some time alone to hold my lies inside me
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to never give up

…I know you’ll come for the people like me
But we all got wood and nails
Tongue tied to a hating factory

I do not know the spiritual standing of this mainstream band, but the honesty in some of these words of both struggle and doubt is hard to look past.  At some point around this album, I realized just what place I had formerly lived in, and how my words and prayers had once sounded.  Whether it was doubt, failure, defeat, or humility, I wasted years living below my potential and made weak efforts in my mission for God.  The sad part is that so much was self-imposed separation from God.  Fortunately, I realize how far God has brought me, and I feel I can now relate to both the guilt-ridden, struggling believer as well as those with overcoming attitudes and faith!  In addition, Paul would add in Romans 8:35-39:

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? … No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Please be encouraged and know that you are growing in God’s grace and strength more than you ever realize, and the grip of fear and guilt (which our Pentecostal churches have especially deposited into our lives!) should not be a vice from the enemy.  They are not to define your lifestyle.  Do non-believers know us more for our joy and freedom, or for our fear, guilt, and keeping the rules?  I rest my case.

I know that this inner struggle Paul addressed is one that we all deal with.  I really want to encourage you add your own thoughts, experiences and insights with additional comments!

All Hands on Deck!

Sorry for the delay in postings.  In addition to a short trip out of town, we are packing the first and middle stages of moving into about 2 weeks!  After 2 weeks up for sale, our house sold!  We truly believe God has His hand on this because it happened so fast right in the face of this tough market.  We also got offered exactly the same price we listed the house at!

So, we are constantly cleaning, painting, staining, digging, and calling.  We are house shopping and offering.  We are inspecting, appraising, and checking for termites.  We are packing a little bit and doing enough paperwork to wipe out a small forest. Need I go on?

Anyway, I have some thoughts brewing, and will be posting the “God stuff” once again shortly.  Thanks for bearing with me!

Fear: Inferiority (or “Getting reaquainted to our old friends, Purpose and Destiny”)

Switchfoot has some fantastic lyrics. Their big hit “Dare You to Move” says:

Welcome to the fallout, Welcome to resistance
The tension is here, Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move…I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move…Like today never happened, today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell, Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

 

In my continuing thoughts about the ever-present forces of fear, I wanted to briefly share a couple of thoughts about the often overlooked, yet controlling and consuming spirit of Inferiority. I encourage your input and thoughts on these topics, as it is what will help us all grow.  Hopefully by now, many have accepted that this website, and followers of Christ in general, can be honest and transparent and share in struggles with each other.

I feel that Inferiority masks itself in many ways. It’s easy to explain away things in conversations such as “she has low self-confidence”, “he’s been hurt before”, “compared to the other applicants, I stand no chance”, etc, etc.  I will contend that much of the pain and confidence/ comparison issues are embedded much deeper than we may even realize.  There is a very real spiritual world out there, and warfare that is every bit as real as what we physically witness on CNN. We all agree that there are sins and addictions that are easy to identify as satanic in nature, but this spirit (maybe even a demon) of inferiority can be cloaked and camoflauged in this day an age so well.

We live in a world of haves vs. have nots, and a society of hiding behind impersonal cyber-relationships (sorry for the irony within my blog!).  We can get depressed when we are unable to keep up with the Joneses, or don’t get something promptly in our microwave, fast-food lifestyle. We may pop pills, blame anxiety, and created medical acronyms to identify a cause.  When something cannot be attributed to science, we often resign ourselves to simple avoidance.  Please do not consider me insensitive to specific issues, as there really are legitimate issues, chemical imbalances, and inherent shyness (believe me, fear and intimidation has placed me into a battle against the porcelain throne on many occassions- think “Dumb and Dumber” scene!)… but it’s with a broad brush I feel I can say that an opposing force is to blame most often.  Now, I just quickly rattled off a few ways that we “rationalize” our shortcomings, which is one of two things that the enemy of our soul wants- 

1. An easy explanation that requires no spiritual attention; 
2. A continued life of unproductivity.

So is this reluctance and low confidence to define our existence?  Certainly, it is not God’s desire for that to be the case.  What if we were to live our lives with an understanding of where we are going? In other words, what if we truly lived today with the awareness of where we will be?

Think about the last verse of Amazing Grace, “When we’ve been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun”.  Also, chew on Revelation 22:5 which states, “And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever.”  

  

“They will reign” is referring to us!  Think about what you will doing 200 years from now… 500…5000 years.  Suddenly, the problems of the moment seem less unbearable, right?  So, I encourage us all to pray that God help identify and deliver us from the shackles that we have unknowingly worn. A sermon I heard 10-15 years ago stated that we are not more than copers, through Him who loved us, but rather that we are more than conquerers!.  Why try to shoulder the load by yourself and ultimately live a life of coping?

Finally, remember Psalm 56:11, David writes, “in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”  Regardless of what happens, he will trust in God.  So…

Where can you run to escape from yourself? Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

 

Are you a Good Christ?

An email I just received contained a remarkable article that I almost feel I must share.  Lucky for you, I will not summarize it, but will instead post the whole thing since spotting it all over the internet in blogs, the Catalyst website, Relevant magazine, etc.  This is from Francis Chan, a dynamite speaker/ pastor/ seminary president, and someone I have really enjoyed listening to on several occasions.  Anyway, here’s the article:

Are You a Good Christ? 

By Francis Chan 

I think it’s time we stop asking ourselves the question: “Am I a good 

Christian?” We live in a time when the term “Christian” has been so 

diluted that millions of immoral but nice people genuinely consider 

themselves “good Christians.” We have reduced the idea of a good 

Christian to someone who believes in Jesus, loves his or her family, 

and attends church regularly. Others will label you a good Christian 

even though your life has no semblance to the way Christ spent His 

days on earth. Perhaps we should start asking the question: “Am I a 

good Christ?” In other words, do I look anything like Jesus? This 

question never even entered my mind until a friend of mine made a 

passing comment to me one day. 

 

Dan is a long time friend of mine. In fact, he’s the pastor who 

performed my wedding. He was talking to me about a pastor named 

Von. Von has been working with youth in the San Diego area for 

decades. Many of his students have gone on to become amazing 

missionaries and powerful servants of God. Dan described a trip to 

Tijuana, Mexico with Pastor Von. (Von has been ministering to the poor 

in the dumps of Tijuana for years). Dan didn’t speak of the awful living 

conditions of those who made their homes amidst the rubbish. What 

impacted Dan the most was the relationship he saw between Von and 

the people of this community. He spoke of the compassion, sacrifice, 

and love that he witnessed in Von’s words and actions as he held these 

malnourished and un-bathed children. Then he made the statement 

that sent me reeling: 

 

“The day I spent with Von was the closest thing I’ve ever experienced 

to walking with Jesus.” 

 

Dan explained that the whole experience was so eerie because he kept 

thinking to himself: “If Jesus were still walking on earth in the flesh, 

this is what it would feel like to walk alongside of Him!” After that 

discussion, I kept wondering if anyone had ever said that about 

me-“The day I spent with Francis was the closest thing I’ve ever 

experienced to walking with Jesus.” The answer was an obvious “no.” 

Would any honest person say that about you?

 

What bothered me was not that I hadn’t “arrived,” but that I wasn’t 

even heading in the right direction. I hadn’t made it my goal to 

resemble Christ. I wasn’t striving to become the kind of person who 

could be mistaken for Jesus Christ. Isn’t it ironic that a man can be 

known as a successful pastor, speaker, and CHRISTian even if his life 

doesn’t resemble Christ’s? 

 

1 John 2:6 “Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did.” 

When John made that statement, he wasn’t speaking about how to be 

a church leader or even how to be a “good” Christian. He merely 

stated that anyone who calls himself Christian must live like Jesus did. 

So how did Jesus live? You could make a list of character traits to 

compare yourself to, but it would be far more beneficial to simply read 

through one of the Gospels. After you get a bird’s-eye view of the life 

of Christ, do the same with your own. Are you comfortable with the 

similarities and differences? 

 

It’s easy to get caught up in the pursuit of “success” as American 

church-goers define it. The thought of being well-known and respected 

is alluring. There have been times when I’ve been caught up in the fun 

of popularity. I’ve even mistaken it for success. Biblically, however, 

success is when our lives parallel Christ’s. Truth is, there are many 

good Christs that you’ll never read about in a magazine. They are 

walking as Jesus walked, but they are too focused and humble to 

pursue their own recognition. 

 

May we make it our goal to someday have someone say of us: “The 

day/hour/15 minutes I spent with ______ was the closest thing I’ve 

ever experienced to walking with Jesus.” 

 

As Christians in America, we often complain about how antagonistic 

people are toward Christ. Personally, I’m not sure that Americans are 

really rejecting Christ. Maybe they just haven’t seen Him. 

 

Try to be COMPLETELY honest with yourself right now. Is the 

following true of you? 

 

You passionately love Jesus, but you don’t really want to be like Him. 

You admire His humility, but you don’t want to be THAT humble. You 

think it’s beautiful that He washed the feet of the disciples, but that’s 

not exactly the direction your life is headed. You’re thankful He was 

spit upon and abused, but you would never let that happen to you. You 

praise Him for loving you enough to suffer during His whole time on 

earth, but you’re going to do everything within your power to make 

sure you enjoy your time down here. 

 

In short: You think He’s a great Savior, but not a great role model. 

The American church has abandoned the most simple and obvious 

truth of what it means to follow Jesus: You actually follow His pattern 

of life. I pray for those who read this article- that we don’t become 

cynical or negative toward the church. Instead, let’s make a personal 

decision to stop talking so much and begin living like Jesus. Then we 

can say as the apostle Paul, “Follow my example, as I follow the 

example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). My guess is that you’ve never 

had someone say that to you, and you’ve never said it to anyone else. 

Why Not? 

iWitnessing 2009 (part 2)

As a follow-up to the last post, I wanted to share a brief story from a conversation I had Monday night.  It’s ironic what was discussed, seeing how I was thinking about much of this topic the last few days and in the prior post.  By the way, that post has had the 2nd most hits I’ve ever had, so I still feel there could be more feedback and communication on it (hint, hint).

While at the grocery store, a fellow church member arrived, and quickly came over to shake hands.  I always knew his family’s face and greeted them, but never remember the name.  He is Sam Meadows, and he is a 50-ish year old from India, and we chatted for about 20 minutes before his wife emerged in the checkout line.  After casual chit-chat about houses (since we have just decided to try to sell ours), Sam began to tell stories about sensing a particular house and selling theirs on faith.  Month after month went by, and there became some very worrysome times, especially since they had numerous showings with no result.  He went through a beautiful testimony right there at the front of that Food Lion which began with a celebration, and ended with a key point that directly addresses my witnessing questions.  At a crucial point in the eleventh hour, with money very low and life lived on the cheap, he walked down the driveway, and in anger yanked the realty sign and slammed it several feet away.  The frustration was obviously rising to the surface, but a family decision was made that night during prayer.  They would not only continue to give, but they would give more… giving out of sacrifice.  

The Meadows give to missions and education and clinics in India.  Their decision was for each person to write down what they felt should be given, and discuss it.  Turns out they each wrote identical amounts, and a check was soon in the mail.  It was given out of love, but also somewhat connected with prayers of faith that God would see them through their own housing and financial situation as well as showing that they remain committed to helping others in India despite difficulties in their own place.  When the money for the next mortgage payment was exhausted, and another one coming due, an offer arrived.  It was not even a low-ball offer, but one that they had looked for all along!

Fantastic story, but what does it have to do with witnessing? Near the end of our chat, Sam and I discussed that many give to get, meaning they sow specifically to get a reward.  I think we are all guilty of that to a degree… I’ve even worried when I have missed tithe weeks that I may not have enough to cover certain bills or that my health would slip into sickness! (not really as a “punishment” from God, but more of a “lose my blessing” kind of thing)  Anyway, we agreed that simply giving to the kingdom out of love, and identifying pain and suffering and inhumane conditions, and sharing the gospel with a heart of compassion are key ingredients of proper witnessing.  As he detailed the slums he was familiar with, I felt I was witnessing even darker, deleted scenes from Slumdog Millionaire.  I was already grateful for his heart… but then came the strategy.  It is how he gives, how he evangelizes, and how he handles himself with others.

Sam’s strategy always has and always will be this:  

 

 

• Do not indicate before arrival that this is missions or a church work or even a Christian who is coming to assist.   
• Do not even say much about the church while there, whether building shacks or providing flu shots or feeding soup and sandwiches.
• Do let them feel loved and needed, and do everything with integrity.  Once that has been proven (note the past tense), then the discussion of Christ and His Kingdom can take place.

 

 

I feel this is a great example of proper witnessing because by living a quality life that reflects Christ first, the ears and hearts of others will be a fertile ground to plant the seed.  This is not a hit-and-run evangelism approach, but one of relationships and proving yourself without words.  As St. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the Gospel always, and when necessary use words.”

In honor of this great story during this time of seeking wisdom, I would like to present Sam with this lame, cheesy patch I found on the web: